dogs I've met and loved

“Wull hawdy ther guuys. Mah name’s Mooseh. Ahm a Great Dayne. That means ahm biyg. Ah don feeel biyg. Bud ah guess ahyam.”

Moosey has an accent from the deep south. Well he would, if he could talk. He really doesn’t need to talk though, because his mama Jules talks for him. Jules is about as tall as Moose, looks like a blonde doll and has the most creative, dirty and wonderful brain you ever did meet. Maybe she got poor ol’ Moose’s brains too. Moose is a bit low on things. Like balls. Moose only ever had one ball. But now they’re both gone. On the day we hung out he’d just had his lone ball removed, so he was even more sookie and cute (in a giant way) than normal. Oh Moosey.

In China the kewl kids have dogs which look like tiny furry dragons. I don’t think these dragony little breeds are even available in Australia. These two little ragamuffins lived in a hostel in Beijing. Their preferred activities were sleeping in the courtyard, chasing leaves and biting each other’s brains out through their eyeballs. Obama (the black one. obvs.) bit Hu Jintao (the yellowy one. yep.) so hard that he grew a cyst on his eye while we were there. It’s tough being an adorable puppy in Beijing, you guys. 

RIP Matty. One of my top three small, white, fluffy puppies in all the lands. May you endlessly bound by rivers, cuddle in laps and eat pork belly x

It’s been too long between drinks. There have been plenty of dogs but love? Love is hard to find, my canine-canoodling friends. And then there was Roo. Roo is 3 months old. She likes sugary coffee and eating boyfriend’s beard. She does not like to walk down stairs. Up stairs yes, down stairs no.

Her nose must be the envy of pooches everywhere. I imagine them taking photos of her to their rhinoplasty surgeons. But there ain’t no faking the softness of her belly. Oil of Olay eat ya heart out.

Avion is the kind of kid who is growing up in a surf town somewhere down south in WA. The kind of kid who might be a little rascal now, but will probably grow up to be a pro surfer or own a winery. He’s the kind of kid who, upon seeing you eat an icecream out of a cone asks “are you a kid?”. And you say yes. His dog Chica is a kelpie. She’s the kind of dog who buries bones in other people’s gardens. My mornings won’t be the same without these two making a ruckus in the garden before 7am. ‘Til next time Avion & Chica x

You know when something small is SO cute you just want to squish it? Like it’s so adorable you just want to drown it? Or poke its little eyes out? Or hug it to death? Sure you do. Well this little guy got me like that. Riley was a super shy rescue. Maybe that’s why I took a shine to him despite the fact that I’m not usually into white dogs. Racist. Anyway, Riley’s owner said Riley’s response to me approaching was his BEST RESPONSE TO A HUMAN EVER. Clearly my powers as a dog whisperer are really coming along. Also Riley’s owner called him JuJu for short. Obviously.

Holy smokes Hugo. Stop it. Your little face screams “I need you to protect me and love me”. You little puppy dog paws claw (metaphorically) at my heart. Your soft soft skin makes me forget about Kanye West being mean to Taylor, and the fact that you can’t buy twinpoles in NSW and other bad things in the world.

HUGO I CANNOT HAVE A DOG. WHY DO YOU TAUNT ME LIKE THIS. STOP IT.

And on this unremarkable Monday, I give you Lola.

Likes: the taste of yellow polyester gloves.

Dislikes: the baby.

Lola is a 11 week old Weimaraner. Her skin is so squishy that it’s probably edible. Or wearable. She could be an alternative to cashmere. Not that I want to skin her and wear her or anything.

I wanted to rock her in my arms and sing “el oh el aye LOLLLLA” but instead I went back to work.

A haiku for HRH Soho:

Wise old puppy dog

Blinking in the morning sun.

A skim flat white please

Let it be known that when I am running late for work (again) I don’t usually walk the way that goes past the pet shop. Because of dogs like Bronte. Bronte doesn’t have a leash. So her owner was going to buy her one. He was waiting for the pet shop to open. So they were just sitting there, and what’s a dog stalker to do? Isn’t she JUST? This was one of those love at first sight dogs. I saw her ear and loved her. They don’t know what she is because she’s a rescue, but definitely a bitta staffy and a bitta sheep dog.